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The curious case of Yahrzeit in Adar during an intercalated year with two Adars
(Thanks are in order to R. David Golinkin for his Teshuva on this subject)
The custom of saying Kaddish for an immediate relative evolved over the last millennium, along with the custom of fasting on that day. Thus, it is important to know which day, in an intercalated year, to observe this act of memorializing our loved ones. There seems to be a real debate among sages as to which day to say Yahrzeit. The debate is not about when someone dies on Adar 1 in a leap year. That yahrzeit will always be observed in Adar during the regular year and Adar 1 in a leap year. Nor is it an issue if the loved one dies in a leap year on Adar 2. The yahrzeit is, of course, every time on Adar 2 during a leap year, and on Adar 1 in the regular lunar month of Adar. The controversy occurs in the case of a person who dies, like Moses (Adar 7) on a regular Adar, in a year without an additional month. Hevra Kadishas, the groups that prepare the deceased with shrouds and washing, generally observe this yahrzeit date and need to standardize when to observe it.
Rabbi Yosef Caro, in the Shulchan Aruch, says that since Purim is observed Adar 2, closer to Pesach (to join their ‘redemptions’), and fasting is done the day before, all Adar mitzvoth are connected to Adar 2 (the real Adar) and, with it, yahrzeits of those on Adar 1. However, the Rema (Rabbi Moses Isserlis, the Ashkenazic commentator on Shulchan Aruch), tells us that if a person dies on Adar on a regular year, one should observe it on Adar 1 as ‘lo lehachmitz et Hamitzvah’–we should not tarry in the case of doing a mitzvah. There is also further ample evidence in the Halachic literature that if a person vows to pay a debt by Adar on a leap year, that his meaning is Adar 1. Therefore “the real Adar” is the month that directly follow Shevat, not the month that immediately precedes Nisan! Further “mishnichnas Adar marbim besimcha” may also be applied, as this month of Purim is the Adar that is intended under this concept. Delaying a yahrzeit to the month of Purim, then, would be in conflict with conviviality and should rightly be concluded on Adar 1. Rabbi Meir opines that oaths would require debts to be paid on Adar 2 not Adar 1 and that God respects the intercalation of the Beit Din, and therefore , Adar 2 is the authentic Adar. Therefore, in Ashkenazic communities, by and large, Moshe’s yahrzeit is observed on Adar 1 and in Sefardic communities, it’s observed on Adar 2
However, R. Isserlis also mentions the custom of righteous Jews who determine to observe the Yahzeit on both Adars in a leap year! That custom also gained some traction and the Mishna Brura tells us that because of doubt, the pious Jew does it both months! A lone opinion attributed to the Tashbatz, a student of Rabbi Meir of Rothenberg in the 13th century tells us that in the first year, a mourner observes the yahrzeit on Adar 1 and on all subsequent years observes it on Adar 2! This is because on the first year he (or she in our egalitarian custom) has finished the first 12 months of saying Kaddish. Waiting a total of 13 months detracts from the idea that the soul is raised by kaddish said 11 full months and finalized at the Yahrzeit Kaddish. The Tashbatz otherwise agrees with Maimonides and Rabbi Meir’s opinion that Adar 2 is the authentic month of Adar in an intercalated year.
My opinion in this matter (Rabbi Silverman) follows the Ashkenazic custom that Yahrzeit on a regular Adar is observed in Adar 1 and our yahrzeit software is synchronized to this viewpoint. But I suppose if you have accidentally forgotten to observe your yahrzeit on that date, you have a ‘retroactive’ chance to observe it in the next month! Kudos to those who follow the more stringent view of the Mishna Brurah. One might overcome the problem of ‘marbim be simcha,’ of the need to accentuate joy on the month of Purim, with the attitude that joy is brought ‘on high’ to the soul of the loved one, and contentment too, to the heart of those engaging in the mitzvah of Zechirat HaMetim–of remembering our loved ones.