Although New Years Eve is beyond us now, one of the beautiful sentiments expressed is in the lovely song Auld Lang Syne, a poem composed in 17th century Scotland and enhanced by the Scottish poet, Robert Burns. It has become fairly pervasive over the English-speaking world.
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne!
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne.
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup!
and surely I’ll buy mine!
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give me a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
This is a song I like because I believe it tells us of the importance of good friends and to not forget one’s friends. Time has a way of erasing even the most intense friendships due to neglect, failure to nurture them, or simply geographical separation, but this poem reminds us that love and friendship are stronger than time. Friends are essential to human happiness. As perkei avot tells us, “O charvuta o mittuta”–friends are a must, or we will simply wither and die.
The Jewish Encyclopedia advises that the essential characteristic of friendship is disinterestedness. That is, the service one wants to provide a fellow, irrespective of the benefit we derive from it. It’s the classic “I- thou” relationship, which Buber tells us is a holy relationship–perceiving the other not as object but as central subject–the expansion of the self and the spirit to go beyond oneself and one’s family. Friendship is the building–block of community, but of course, it’s more than that as well. Friendship is destroyed by selfishness, but, says Avot, a friendship not based on selfish motivation will never come to an end. The classic example of friendship in the Bible is the relationship of Jonathon and David. Jonathon so loves David that he acts to surrender his kingship rights and monarchical claims to his friend.
The Talmud offers many examples of fierce friendships. One is the relationship between Rabbi Yochanan bar Nappach and Resh Lakish. Resh Lakish was a gladiator who was discovered by Yochanon. Yochanan promised Resh Lakish his sister’s hand in marriage if Resh Lakish would channeling his strength into learning Torah. Resh Lakish flourished, becoming Yochanan’s equal. Resh Lakish was never afraid to take issue with his friend and his former mentor. Such an attitude could have led to rivalry and resentment. But their friendship remained intense. Many times Yochanan changed his opinions as a result of his friend’s opinions. When Resh Lakish died, Yochanan was inconsolable. The rabbis send him the very nice scholar Eliezer ben Porat, who found reasoning to support Yochanon in his opinions, hoping this would cheer him. Instead, Yochanon cried “disagree with me like Resh Lakish. Only then can we grow in our understanding. Don't agree with me... " We learn from our true friends. We are challenged by them, and they by us.
Say our sages, “It is easy to gain enemies, much less so a friend.” Ben Sirach says, “We should choose our friends carefully and be discriminating. Many are those who like you when you're smiling but abandon you in your distress. A faithful friend is a strong defense and he who has found one has found a treasure. The best friend is one who can guide and reprove as well as support and love.” Says Avoth d’Rabbi Natan, “Love him who corrects you and hate him who only flatters, because a true friend wants you to grow in life and be a grander person, a better soul.” May we treasure our friends always and never let the hands of time cause us to forget them. May we never become closed to new friendships when they present themselves because each has the potential to enoble us. May we understand our synagogue and its service opportunities and programs as a place where friendships can expand and deepen, and
Let’s lift a lechayim to them my friends,
lets lift a lechayim or two.
So in our haste we not forget
the beautiful things they do.